Who said BBQ's were easy?

I was persuaded by my wife that instead of cooking a nice dinner for our guests, it would be a good idea to have a BBQ instead. So I rummaged through the shed, and dug out the trusty old BBQ grill, dusted off the cobwebs, and gave it a thorough good clean. "So far so good" I thought. The weather was a bit blustery, and overcast, but there was no sign of rain yet.

My wife and daughter were busy in the kitchen preparing the salad and the drinks. So now all I have to do is light the charcoal, and cook the food. "Easy peasy" says I. "Learn from my one other attempt last year to use a BBQ. Now what did I do wrong last year? I remember! I tried cooking the food before the coals had died down, and consequently the grill was too hot and cremated everything". So determined not to make the same error, I lit the coals one hour before the guests were due to arrive.

After about 20 minutes, the flames died down and the BBQ looked ready to start cooking. So being a bit cautious, I put a couple of items on the grill to see if if they would cook without being cremated, and discovered that it was still too hot. I then made my first mistake. I left the grill for another 40 minutes!

The guests duly arrived, and I went to check on the BBQ grill. To my dismay, all the coals had burnt down and there was hardly any left! I probably had about 10 or 20 minutes left before it went out. In a panic, I added more coals, and soon enough, up it flared again. Now it was too hot again to try cooking. The guests were here, hungry. My wife wanted me to start cooking the meat. I tried to cook the food without cremating it too much by putting the food round the edge of the grill. Even there it was still too hot. So by the time the food was cooked on the inside, it was well and truly burnt on the outside!

My wife suggested that she put some water on the BBQ coals to cool them down, but thankfully, she thought maybe it wasn't such a good idea, as it may put the fire out completely. Instead she kept the guests happy with topping up their glasses with the various alcoholic beverages of their choice.

With the alcohol taking effect, the burnt food became a little more edible than normal. By the end of the evening, everyone had thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

At the end of the day, I had to clean the grill, myself, and wash my smoky clothes! I also have the dubious task of eating the remainder of the cremated food the next day!